This is an old Emo classic routine:
I was traveling in Michigan when I spotted a poor fellow preparing commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. I tried to engage him in conversation, to make him see all he had to live for.
I said 'Are you a Christian or a Jew?' He said 'Christian.' I said 'Me too!
Protestant or Catholic?' He said 'Protestant.' I said 'Me too!
What franchise?' He said 'Baptist.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?' He said 'Northern Baptist.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Reform Baptist?' He said 'Northern Conservative Baptist.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?' He said 'Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?' He said 'Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region of 1850?' He said 'Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.' I said 'Die heretic!' And I pushed him off the bridge!
I was traveling in Michigan when I spotted a poor fellow preparing commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. I tried to engage him in conversation, to make him see all he had to live for.
I said 'Are you a Christian or a Jew?' He said 'Christian.' I said 'Me too!
Protestant or Catholic?' He said 'Protestant.' I said 'Me too!
What franchise?' He said 'Baptist.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?' He said 'Northern Baptist.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Reform Baptist?' He said 'Northern Conservative Baptist.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?' He said 'Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?' He said 'Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region.' I said 'Me too!
Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region of 1850?' He said 'Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.' I said 'Die heretic!' And I pushed him off the bridge!

